Here's A Little Belly, For Those Waiting

I know many people want to see pics of Jess' belly because they have some sort of sick need to have to judge or quantify exactly what is happening, or else they just want to share in the joy. Either/or. I figure most people just like to watch someone else's body change after years of working on it and getting it just how they wanted it.

No matter what your motivation, feel free to enjoy the pic below of Jess' baby bump at about the 14 week stage. I think it is absolutely amazing that below the skin there is something sentient growing and starting to think. How cool.

Building A Stronger Baby

It is highly important to put good fuel into the system to make sure that baby gets all that s/he needs. We here at the Lindsay household have been very conscious of making sure that we are constantly at the pinnacle of health and nutrition to ensure our baby's brain will grow exponentially so that it can one day rule the planet. Or just get published like its father can't.

So, in the interest of promoting solid eating habits during your pregnancy as well as ours we bring you the Good Morning Menu.

That's right, boils and ghouls, a little bit of bacon and eggs go a long way. That right there is 97% fat free bacon, and I have Tabasco sauce all over mine, to help with the digestion process.

Here's another shot we prepared earlier. As usual, Jess won't get in front of the camera but she thinks others will want to see my mug some more. Don't worry, the next post will have a shot of her, I promise.

Mm-hmm, that's some hunk of meat right there. The bacon, you know?

Hope your breakfast is just as delicious.

Parental Reading Guides

Not every set of parents need be identical. Jess and I revel in the fact that we are different.

I am a boy; Jess is a girl.

I have black hair; Jess has blonde hair.

I am a teacher; Jess is a nurse.

I get up early every morning; Jess has been known to sleep 20 hours in a day before.

I like Doritos; Jess likes Cheese & Bacon Balls.

I love LOST: Jess hates even the fact that I love LOST.

My favourite movie is Chasing Amy; Jess' favourite movie is Striptease.

It is these differences that gives us the power to appreciate the other person for what they bring to the relationship and how the other person would never have it if it weren't for them.

I love our differences and know that everything Jess is and does makes me a better person. Yet, when we returned from book shopping the other day I was a tad concerned about our choice of purchases. We went into a great little secondhand book store and this is what we bought.

Just doesn't seem like one of us is on the right page as far as what makes a good parenting book. Guess which one it is...

Because Parenting Ain't Easy

Just quietly, between you, me, and the lamppost, this parenting gig is going to be easy.

How do we know this?

Because what's a child when we can teach our dog, Tesla, to brush her own teeth.

She takes the bait and the crowd watches in silence...

It crosses the threshold, we have bristles on teeth.

She wants us to have a go now. We politely decline.

She doesn't want to stop. "Look ma, no hands!"

*This post brought to you by my wife who thinks I'm far too verbose and needs to remind me that I'm allowed to sometimes just post photos. Enjoy.

Onwards and Upwards Into The Second Trimester

It may have taken over 13 weeks but finally I was allowed in the room while Jess got a scan. It was a very cool moment for me to actually be there and see the whole shebang in process.

I have to say that the scanning machine is hugely impressive with its lubes and dvd burners and cool ball-mouse thingy. Must be a huge improvement on the old can on the end of a piece of string I'm sure they used once upon a when. Jess had her belly greased up and we were ready to roll.

I get the easy job, I sit back and watch it all on the big screen. It seems a little detached at first but then the baby comes into view. We push through Jess' rock hard abs and something moving comes into view, and it's not peristalsis.

It's hard to describe exactly what you feel when you first sit there and see the little one squirming around. If you've been there before then you know what I'm saying, and if you haven't then you've got no idea and my florid prose probably won't help at all so I won't even try. I'm slowly learning my limitations. I will say, though, I could have watched it all day.

The little one started in a perfect profile shot, legs pumping like it was riding a bike and hands waving in front of it like it was tripping at a Timothy Leary recital and it could see the words. Watching it move is the coolest, knowing that what you see at that moment is exactly what is happening inside my wife. Life begins eternal, and all of that.

We watched as the baby was measured like a prize sow at the markets. Feet, legs, arms, and hands were identified. Crown to rump was set down in length numbers. All that jazz, I loved it all. My baby just became a stats game, wonder how long it'll take me to start charting its progress in an Excel document, haha.

For me, the coolest thing was seeing the top view of the cranium, and thus a view into the brain. The brain is such an amazing tool, or organ if you prefer, and it can do so so many impressive things and one of those super-computers is being built and knitted together as we speak. That freaks me out and makes me marvel at the human body completely. In a good way.

So without any firther ado, here's the big show. 5 whole seconds of the baby moving. I love that you can see its hand press up at athe end like some romantic Titanic image. I wonder who's in there with it?

Enjoy.

Meet Ampersand

We were out shopping for baby-type stuff; maternity clothes, organic face wipes, you know, baby-type stuff. It was a usual weekend.

I'm not the greatest at shopping, unless it's for books and nerd-type stuff, so I grin and bear it while the lady tries on her clothes and ooh's and ah's over the usual kid stuff. I'm just a walking bag carrier and credit card holder. Usually.

This weekend while Jess was trying on her clothes, I spotted a little monkey who told me his name was Ampersand. He is so gloriously cute and cheeky; a little brown monkey made from corduroy and with little patches of old material for belly, ears, and arms. He was so cute and he just wanted to come home with me and wait for the little one to eventually join us. Who was I to tell Ampersand that he could not come?

I looked at his price tag and it seemed he struck a reasonable enough deal with me. Jess laughed when she saw me holding him and then didn't seem too impressed with the outcome of my price bartering with him, but never mind her, I hold the credit cards, remember?

So I brought Ampersand home and he lives in my office with me now. We'll write in the mornings together and have such a good time waiting for the little Lindsay to come join us.

See, Ampersand even left some room next to him just for the baby. How sweet!

Ah, Remember Those Simpler Younger Days

There was a time when the intrusion of little baby Lindsay didn't have any real discernable impact on my wife. The baby was small and barely ate, never said a word, and we didn't even know it was there for the first few weeks (at least I certainly didn't, Jess with her powers of extra-sensory perception probably did). These were simple times, the salad days really, of doing whatever we wanted, but now that's all over.

I wasn't there in person when Jess got the first scan. I was probably at work bringing home the big bucks that teachers so often do...and when I got home Jess had a disc full of three different videos and four snap shots of our little one. It was a very amazing feeling to know that technology had come so far as to bring the scan home to me to enjoy in the privacy of my own home. It was also pretty amazing to see this first spark of life, so small, so fragile, so inhuman. It's a lump on the screen, attached to the inside of something within Jess, a lung perhaps, or her appendix, isn't that what it does? But it slowly beats away, and the little arrow moves to show me just where it is, in case I'm a bigger idiot than at first diagnoses. Either that or it's showing me where Dennis Quaid is in his little miniature rocket...either is cool.

So enjoy the first Zapruder style film of our child. There'll be plenty more to come in the future.

The News Is Broken

The news is broken. My lovely wife and I are having our first child. It’s a lot to take in. At least, it was a few months ago.

Jess is very in tune with her body; so she knew she was with child within a few weeks. We had been actively trying, so it was no shock, but we also weren’t exactly expecting such results straight away. You hope for the best prepare for the worst and take whatever you get. Pragmatic, yes, but helpful as well.

The trying hadn’t yet been successful, though a stack of fun, and then Jess went away for the weekend. She felt different, a touch of nausea on the car trip to the coast, a feeling in her waters. Nothing really more than that but that was all she needed and she was suspicious. She abstained from the alcohol for the weekend, because she’s a trooper like that, and upon her return went off to whiz on a stick.

I do believe I was on my computer in my office when she walked out of the toilet, no wait, I was on the bed, reading perhaps. She showed me the stick and I’m not the sort of guy who memorises what all the lines mean on those many sticks but I didn’t think she’d be rushing to show me a dud result. I looked at it, because that’s what you do, and I remember smiling and being happy. Jess describes me as somewhere between a deer caught in the headlights, a deer caught in a bear trap, and a deer caught in a bear’s claw. Either way, reactions aside, something was happening. Life was growing. As was our happiness.

We walked to the store and bought another few sticks to whiz on, just because it’s fun. I didn’t get to have a go but it didn’t seem like my time. I have my whole life to urinate on snow and walls and fire hydrants this was Jess’ moment to cut loose. More sticks confirmed it, and we liked the trick, we could constantly relive the moment with a new stick, we were pregnant.

But it was too early to tell anyone. Usually you wait until the end of the first trimester, 3 months, 12 weeks, before formally announcing the news, so that left us with roughly two months to keep it under our hats. I was much better at this than someone else involved in this pregnancy, no names need be mentioned. So we waited and we researched, and we discussed many things, and we nearly burst at the seams. But now we can tell everyone, and slowly everyone is being told.

After being married I loved talking about ‘my wife’. I’d always drop it into conversation because I’m a child at heart and to sound adult was just so boss. Hearing myself referred to as a ‘husband’ also offered equal glee. Now I constantly refer to my ‘pregnant wife’, it really is as cool as it sounds. I just know I’ll become one of those parents who can only talk about his child…who am I kidding, I’ll still talk about comics and movies and LOST all the time. My poor child has decades of entertainment to stand in front of to gain my attention, pity them now. Or bask in the awesome as I expose them to Daredevil and The Empire Strikes Back and Rescue Me (all progressively at appropriate ages, of course), and I don’t care if it’s a girl, I’ll be having a little fangirl instead then.

However, I digress, the point is. We have now been able to tell people and that’s been a fun experience. It’s hard to cover everyone, and Facebook is a wonderful tool for spreading the good word, and now if you like you can follow the exploits of our pregnancy right here.

See the wife crave dehydrated mash potato.

See the baby perform seal-esque tricks of endurance and skill while still in the womb.

Hear all about the hulked out womb and the many, many naps.

Discover just how verbose and loquacious the husband can be on the topic.

Being pregnant is hard, there’s the cravings, the nausea, the cramps, the pain, the new and exotic sleeping positions, and the many mood swings through the virtue of crazy hormone levels (and yes, I don’t care how prepared you are, you can never be prepared for what mood will greet you) and there will also be fun times. The shopping for teeny tiny clothes and setting up our nursery. The quiet, reflective times as I massive the belly to stimulate brain growth (that works right?) and the even quieter times as I’m allowed to read in peace while the lady in the delicate position has her third nap for the day.

We’re aiming to look on the bright side of things, and probably not be as wordy as this usually. There’ll be more photos, a few videos, and plenty of love (awww) so stick around for the show. This is Pregnancy 2.0 for the new millennium, we make the rules.

Enjoy.

And Here We Go

To have a child is a very serious decision. One that should not be taken lightly, it will affect the rest of your life immensely. We decided we wanted to get pregnant and we took the decision very seriously. I guess you could say we took it heavily and we honestly hope it will affect our lives til their very end. That is the plan and now that we know we are pregnant this all could not be made any more concrete in our minds.

We are about to embark on a journey that will never end. A path which we will walk, together, forever. It's either really scary or completely awesome. For some it's one, other the latter, but for us I believe it will be both. And so it should be. Anything less means we just aren't being real about it all.

Here we hope to show you everything, or whatever is flattering, that we go through. Family that lives in the regional fields of France right up to the sweaty climes of Charters Towers. Even those who live five minutes down the road can be given the inside straight on just what we are doing and going through. Grandmothers (and not for the first time, either), cousins, uncles and aunts, and maybe even us. It will be so much fun, so hectically insane and full on that perhaps we'll look back on this in future times and smile, laugh, perhaps even cry. It would be presumptuous to think that we won't.

It's going to be a big 2010, and anything can happen. And perhaps it should. Feel free to stick around with us as it does.

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone

I can't wait to see our walking heart stroll by.